Identify and Manage Emotions
Has it ever felt like a roller coaster of emotions? Have you ever tried to control them and be more stable but didn't manage to?
Today I bring you some exercises to identify your emotions, understand yourself and manage them, always from the base of kindness and without judgments.
Does it seem difficult? Well, let me tell you that you have everything that is needed to achieve it and all you need is practice, practice and more practice 😉
Before you start, you should know that women are cyclical, which means, that we go through different physical and emotional states. Knowing each stage of your cycle will help you understand yourself better and get what you need, without trying to force situations or states that do not correspond to your nature at that time.
I learned this at an AURA event with the sexologist Mia Sabat.
As our first activity, I suggest you to observe your emotions. How to do it?
Normally you have a thought or a feeling that makes you have a certain emotion, or sometimes, you can tell better after a reaction to that emotion. This is what causes the emotion.
Emotions are not positive/negative, nor bad/good, it all depends on how you act upon them.
The main thing is to know them and be able to identify them:
Main emotions and their characteristics
*Adapted table of German Jurado's Mindfulness course
All of them have a function; rejecting your emotions or preferring one to another does not make them disappear, you will only put a patch that can have consequences such as depression, stress, anxiety, etc.
“What you resist persists. What you accept transforms you” - Carl Jung
You have 3 elements to observe and identify your emotions:
What is your position? Maybe you have your shoulders forward, you duck. What happens if you change your posture and open up? What do you feel? In which part of your body?
What do you say? There are studies that indicate that 80% of what we say is negative.
What language do you use? Is it positive or negative? Try changing those negative words to positive.
What are your thoughts? Do you focus on the past or the future? Do you worry or take care?
Once all this is analyzed, what emotion is behind? What main emotion is coming?
Now that you know how to identify them, it will be easier for you to manage and understand them.
For me, these are the 2 main tools you have to use to manage emotions, which must go hand in hand.
1. Get to know ourselves as women
Know our menstrual cycle, its phases and what emotion predominates in each of them.
I suggest that for 1 month you write down every day how you feel, in which part of your body that feeling is and what emotion is behind it.
2. Be conscious in the present
This is nothing other than staying in the here and now, it is the only thing that exists.
“When I dance, I dance; when I sleep, I sleep and when I walk through a forest, if my thinking is distracted towards distant matters, I drive it back to the road, to the beauty of my loneliness “ - Michael de Montaigne
Thoughts go from the past to the future creating concerns for things that may not have happened or that you cannot solve, which can increase your stress and stop you from enjoying the present moment.
Try to stop those thoughts. How?
- Focus on your breath.
- Look at what you feel - you can't feel the cold of yesterday.
- Live the moment with the 5 senses.
- Practice meditation.
An exercise that I like a lot for mindfulness and to regulate emotions is the following:
- 1st - Recognize your feelings (as we have seen before)
- 2nd - Accept the emotion as it is: What emotion is it? Fear, anger, sadness, joy.
- 3rd - Embrace the emotion: Do not escape it, try to see it with love, without judgments, without criticism. Everything is fine as it is.
- 4th - Understand: Where has this emotion come for? What message does it have for you?
- 5th - Observe: Look at yourself from the outside, as if you were an observer.
This is a very extensive topic, but reading is not enough, you have to take action. I challenge you to do the exercises for a period of not less than one month. Have you noticed any changes?
Make from the ordinary, something extraordinary.
Article written by our Expert - Jésica Terón
Coach with PNL
Relations and communication specialist